By Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn

Decades ago I approached a senior Hassidic rabbi and asked for the path to domestic tranquility. He replied, "You must realize that in Cabala the female is superior to the male." This superiority, says the Zohar, is the root of the female essence in the higher dimension of BINA, the first HAY of the Ineffable Name, whereas the male essence begins beneath the HAY, in the VOV. Jacob's two wives are the two HAYS, and Jacob did not have the capacity to know Leah, as she was BINA and he was lower. He only appreciated Rachel, the lower HAY, the level of cognitive understanding, but could not enter BINO, which is "knowledge deduced from something else." Sarah is great, not just because she saved the Jewish people, but, as Rav Luria teaches, she, from BINO, purified her lower level husband, Abraham, who began the lower seven dimensions, underneath BINO.

It is clearly taught in the Torah that the Patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, almost faltered with the Jewish people, were going in the wrong direction, until their wives turned things around, (with Ishamel, Esau, and Jacob's rejection of Leah, who mothered almost all of the important tribes, but was rejected by Jacob.)Who saved the Jews in Egypt? The women, says the Talmud. The greatest rabbi, Amrom, gave up and divorced his wife, and his little seven year old, Miriam convinced him not to do the work of Pharoah, and to remarry his wife. When Moses was born Amrom was filled with anguish, and the little girl comforted him and saved Moses and the Jewish people. Only an ignorant person can deny this, and indeed, of the greatest leaders of the Jews, the only one truly successful was Deborah, whose generation was perfect spiritually and materially. No man had this success. The receiving of the Torah failed with Moses and succeeded with Esther.

There is, however, a caveat to this. True, the female essence is higher, and contains a greater energy, but on the other hand, such an essence cannot survive in the "public dimension." The world was created to make "light from darkness" in the public dimension. The male, farther from holiness than the woman, whose spirituality is unnatural, gets much more reward than the woman, whose holiness is natural. The male has pain and the woman does not, for holiness. He recites the blessing, "Who has not made me a woman." "Greater is the promise to women than to men," says the Talmud, because "most men don't merit paradise," but almost all women do merit it. The world of darkness, of the public dimension, of the snake, is a male world. He is the hero, as he suffers, because he is "dirt" and the woman is not, because she is "life." She, angelic and removed from the dirt of the world and its major purpose, is a "helpmate" to the struggling male. If the male realizes where his salvation is, he succeeds, in proportion to how he honors his helpmate. Therefore the laws of marriage (Tur Even Ezer) begin with the statement that "Torah, life, blessing, etc." comes only from the woman, not the books of the Torah. The Medrash says that creation went from lower to higher life forms. Large animals were followed by Adam, and the final, crowning creation was Eve. The male is thus the major player in a world of darkness and dirt, but he hasn't a chance until he realizes that his salvation is a home where the heavenly energy of the female dominates. Thus, the male and female unite, become "one flesh," and share this world and the next.

Therefore, a woman who enters the public dimension becomes, not HAYO, life, but HAVO, the snake, as it devours her. Lurian Cabala teaches that an angel who tarries too long in this world becomes evil. A woman who leaves the home and dallies with the snake not only is not higher than her husband, but her extremely fine and elevated supernal energy feeds the fires of the opposite of a Jewish woman. This has nothing to do with a woman staying in the kitchen. My wife has a business and used to be a head nurse. It has to do with the attitude. Are you busy talking to the snake, or providing for your family? Are you in the world because, heaven forfend, you want to be a man-dirt essence? Or are you in the world to sustain your life/angelic mode?

One thing need be mentioned. The female essence, and every level from malchuse or monarchy, is a regal and very sensitive level. It requires a respect, admiration and realization of its superiority. In the absence of this, function for the female becomes a challenge, and leads to frustration and feminism. Such are the challenges of our time.

On a personal level, about thirty years ago I was a college chaplain, and saw what was happening with Jewish girls. Boys refused to date them, and called them names. I realized that one day this poison would enter the Orthodox community and savage the role of the woman. Our family reluctantly, very reluctantly, got out of the world, and are we happy, at least for our children's sake. We never discussed this with the children, but on her wedding day, as my oldest daughter left the house, she called me into her room and told me, "Thank you for raising me like you did. I know it was hard for you."

It is true that in my house I make Kiddush and recite the Hagadah, but nobody is fooled. Having a public role, even a leadership role, has nothing to do with a higher, hidden and most rarified essence, which sustains my house, and the homes of my children. All around, the discussion of what gender is supreme ruins life. Each Shabbos I speak at the table, and always my family pays close attention. One time, however, I bombed. It was when I discussed the issue of feminism. My wife and daughter were indignant that such should be discussed at all.